How to Have Fun on a Snow Day

As you’re surely or not very aware, the mid-Atlantic region of the U.S. was bombarded with a snowstorm of record proportions this past weekend.  Oftentimes after a bombardment of snow, the snow accumulation will make travel by vehicle nearly impossible (see my friend’s car in Washington D.C. below… or see where it should be):

Looks like a job for Mr. Plow

If your car looks like above there’s a fairly good chance you’ll be off from work, especially if you’re a teacher or work for the government.  I’d like to offer a few ideas to Napkinville Nation on how to ensure you have a fun snow day if you’re stuck at your house.

1)   Get in your bikinis and go play with your dog.  Your dog will think playing in the snow is the best thing since sliced ALPO, your neighbors will enjoy a free peep show and there’s a good possibility you get pneumonia – a win-win-win situation.  Be sure to take lots of pictures like my neighbors:

Snow Angels

2)  But you can’t stay outside in your bikinis forever.  Once inside, the most productive thing you can possibly do with your free time is give a friend a mohawk.  That’s just what we did to my roommate, who actually it turns out can rock a badass hawk:

"The Stegosaurus"

3)  Last but not least, to amplify the fun level, make sure these activities are accompanied with a borderline-excessive amount of alcohol.  Or crack.

Tot Shot! Tot Shot! Tot Shot!

What was planned to be a just a simple happy hour and dinner amongst friends at local bar/restaurant Sticky Rice turned into an innovation lab earlier when my chums and I invented the “Tot Shot.”   The delicious concoction requires a shot glass (originally intended for sake) filled with at minimum two tater tots, whereby you inhale the tots as you would a shot of Jagermeister.  Much like Jager, one should imbibe Tot Shots in moderation.  Take a look at Gill guitarist Garret Whitlow (left) and his silly friend Matthew as they prepare to “get re-totted,” as the kids say.

"Tot Shots" go best with Heinz 57 ketchup, followed by a swig of PBR

Pudgy!

So I saw this great vanity license plate in the Target parking lot while doing my Christmas shopping.  It reminded me of my senior year high school lunch table.  We sat beside a table of freshman girls and one of them was kinda innocent-looking, short and pudgy – so naturally, we called her “Pudgy,” often yelling it aloud for the majority of the cafeteria to hear.  It is only now, nearly 9 years later, that I realize that’s a pretty cruel thing to do.  So if you’re out there Pudgy, sorry on behalf of our lunch table.

Horses are pudgy too.